Dani, this is such a beautiful post! You’ve really given people a great tool for when they need to face this in their lives. I had to put my dog down 13 years ago, and having something this would have been immensely helpful. We will all remember Walter because he was part of our lives too. 💙
Thank you for allowing us to share this journey - and this particularly painful and personal part - with you!
Thank you Dani for this post and the journey you have shared with Walter. Our dog will soon be 15.5yo and has really aged a lot in the last 6 months and I feel like the end will be sooner than I would like (it always is), but I too do not want him to suffer. I hope to incorporate many of the suggestions you have shared. 💕
Thank you, Dani. I felt like Walter was at your feet in spirit while you were writing this! Very grateful to have you both as our guide as we navigate life with an elder dog. Sending you a huge hug from across the pond.
Dani I appreciate your open sharing of your experience surrounding Walters's end of life and for starting a discussion about pet loss. It's a unique experience and is not something you can quantifiably relate to any other kind of loss. All pets bring something different to each person and phase of life. When my husband and I lost our first fur baby, Smitty, my husband was brokenhearted in the deepest way. He had never had pets growing up and had never known the pure love and joy of a dog. The loss was immense. I'm sure those who have never known that love would not understand it. For me, the nonjudgmental, happy, pure joy of my dogs, and the fact that they have always been steadfast round-the-clock companions to me (and my children when growing up) makes their loss deeper and a different kind of pain.
As an older person who has been blessed with many incredible animals in my lifetime, I wish I had this resource years ago instead of learning from my own mistakes. There were two dog losses which I had no control over the way they left this world but four where it was in my hands. In most of those cases, I waited too long. Too long for me, overwhelmed by the demands of care, but especially too long when considering the loss of joy and perhaps even pain for my dogs. When I grew up, the thinking was if they are eating and drinking, that is a sign that they are okay and that you don't euthanize until the very end. I learned the hard way after my beagle couldn't walk or stand due to muscle atrophy that eating was something he would do no matter how bad he got. We called the vet to have him euthanized that morning, and while we waited, we gave him his favorite bacon, and he gobbled it up. He had to have been in terrible pain (dogs often mask pain), but that food instinct was there till the very end. Sadly, despite other signs of declining quality of life, we used eating as the measure of when it was time and didn't fully consider the quality of life for him and never factored ourselves into the equation. He was euthanized on his bed surrounded by his loved one in his favorite sun patch and Journeys Home (Madison, WI) took exceptional care of us that morning. Our boy didn't need the additional medication that day but it's great to know that is an option. I wish I had done it about 6 months earlier. I promised that day I would do better in the future when given the gift of providing a good end to the life of a furry companion.
As far as after the loss I keep all my dog's collars, tags, and photos in my home. There is always a faint feeling of sadness, but with time, more often than not, they bring me a smile as I remember the funny antics and pure joy they brought me.
I'm glad to see more acceptance, openness, and understanding of grief. I work on Mondays at my local camera store, and I can't tell you how many people have broken down in tears at our kiosks when I have been helping them print out a favorite photo of a beloved pet that they recently lost. They always apologize profusely and seem embarrassed but I understand and like to give a space to share grief too often is brushed under the rug and diminished. The stories of love shared in those moments are a testament to the ones they've lost. One customer was getting a canvas print and needed it rushed because they wanted paw prints added to the canvas before their son's dog was euthanized. We got it done that day and I thought this was a great idea.
This is so helpful. I wish I had seen this two months ago. My 15yr old pug was diagnosed with cancer. We had no idea how to manage. Unfortunately he died a painful/tragic death due to an accident, not his illness. I would do anything to go back and help him die with dignity. Thank you for sharing your experience
Thank you for sharing your experience--both the emotional and practical aspects of it. I've been lucky to not have gone through this process as an adult (yet) and I dread the day it comes for our two dogs, but I know it will, and this info will really help. You might want to check out Good Grief by E.B. Bartels, which is a book all about pet loss and grief. It sounds like it will be sad (and it is, in parts) but it's really a fascinating and thoughtful and sweet look at pets and ritual throughout history.
Dani, thank you for sharing your and Walter’s story. Having been through this experience a few times now, I think what you’ve shared here is some of the best advice around and is so helpful. Sending you big hugs from across the bridge and you’re happy to dog sit Rhaegar anytime 😘
I am so sorry for your loss. Walter was a lucky dog to have you as an owner.
I had to euthanize my 18 year old cat who I had since she was born. She was born on my grandparents farm to a stray cat and I wanted to give her a life away from the farm.
She had been sick for a couple of years and I knew she no longer had any quality of life. I too planned her euthanasia and and I struggled with questioning myself. Am I bad person for not letting her go naturally? Am I bad person for not letting her go sooner? Was she suffering? I was questioning everything. My biggest struggle was I selfishly didn’t want to let her go because she was all I had left of my grandparents who had since passed away.
My long term vet helped me get to a place where I could believe letting her go was the best gift I could give her and no one would think I was a terrible person for taking her life.
The week before her euthanasia I was able to be with her and take that extra time to show her how much I loved her. I hope she could feel how much she was loved.
The one thing that helped me was the morning of her euthanasia I too cleaned up all of her things before we went to the vet. It would have been too painful to come home to her stuff. I can’t stress how much that helped me.
The other thing I needed was space alone that day. I didn’t want to talk about it and I needed time to process the day and my initial grief by myself.
Dani, I never know what to say but you’ve written a piece that many people are probably very grateful for, whether they are reflecting and connecting to those shared grievances or anticipating and need support or guidance. Thank you for your vulnerability and sharing your world and love for Walter with us. We loved him so much and got to witness such a beautiful life that you and Josh gave him and the joy/love he gave to you both in return. Thank you for this post. My dogs are 9 and 8 and I have anticipatory grieve every so often. Knowing your experience and how much you loved Walter is the perspective I’ve needed for when our time comes to with our pups. My favorite time of day is our 1.5-2 hour walks. We always walk without headphones, submersed in the present with them in nature - that feeling is pure bliss. Really relishing in those moments everyday as I know they’re finite. Thanks again for sharing yours and Walter love (and life) story 🫶🏼
This was the first post I read from your newsletter that I recently subscribed to, and I can't thank you enough. My dog Rufus is on his final weeks and this was exactly what I needed to read right now. 💗
Dani, so lovely. It brings up so many tough and beautiful memories of our pets who passed: Ariadne, Maxine, Raja, Chloe, and Rory. It is never, ever easy. But they will always live on in our hearts. Thank you.
Dani, this is such a beautiful post! You’ve really given people a great tool for when they need to face this in their lives. I had to put my dog down 13 years ago, and having something this would have been immensely helpful. We will all remember Walter because he was part of our lives too. 💙
Thank you for allowing us to share this journey - and this particularly painful and personal part - with you!
Thank you Dani for this post and the journey you have shared with Walter. Our dog will soon be 15.5yo and has really aged a lot in the last 6 months and I feel like the end will be sooner than I would like (it always is), but I too do not want him to suffer. I hope to incorporate many of the suggestions you have shared. 💕
Thank you, Dani. I felt like Walter was at your feet in spirit while you were writing this! Very grateful to have you both as our guide as we navigate life with an elder dog. Sending you a huge hug from across the pond.
Dani I appreciate your open sharing of your experience surrounding Walters's end of life and for starting a discussion about pet loss. It's a unique experience and is not something you can quantifiably relate to any other kind of loss. All pets bring something different to each person and phase of life. When my husband and I lost our first fur baby, Smitty, my husband was brokenhearted in the deepest way. He had never had pets growing up and had never known the pure love and joy of a dog. The loss was immense. I'm sure those who have never known that love would not understand it. For me, the nonjudgmental, happy, pure joy of my dogs, and the fact that they have always been steadfast round-the-clock companions to me (and my children when growing up) makes their loss deeper and a different kind of pain.
As an older person who has been blessed with many incredible animals in my lifetime, I wish I had this resource years ago instead of learning from my own mistakes. There were two dog losses which I had no control over the way they left this world but four where it was in my hands. In most of those cases, I waited too long. Too long for me, overwhelmed by the demands of care, but especially too long when considering the loss of joy and perhaps even pain for my dogs. When I grew up, the thinking was if they are eating and drinking, that is a sign that they are okay and that you don't euthanize until the very end. I learned the hard way after my beagle couldn't walk or stand due to muscle atrophy that eating was something he would do no matter how bad he got. We called the vet to have him euthanized that morning, and while we waited, we gave him his favorite bacon, and he gobbled it up. He had to have been in terrible pain (dogs often mask pain), but that food instinct was there till the very end. Sadly, despite other signs of declining quality of life, we used eating as the measure of when it was time and didn't fully consider the quality of life for him and never factored ourselves into the equation. He was euthanized on his bed surrounded by his loved one in his favorite sun patch and Journeys Home (Madison, WI) took exceptional care of us that morning. Our boy didn't need the additional medication that day but it's great to know that is an option. I wish I had done it about 6 months earlier. I promised that day I would do better in the future when given the gift of providing a good end to the life of a furry companion.
As far as after the loss I keep all my dog's collars, tags, and photos in my home. There is always a faint feeling of sadness, but with time, more often than not, they bring me a smile as I remember the funny antics and pure joy they brought me.
I'm glad to see more acceptance, openness, and understanding of grief. I work on Mondays at my local camera store, and I can't tell you how many people have broken down in tears at our kiosks when I have been helping them print out a favorite photo of a beloved pet that they recently lost. They always apologize profusely and seem embarrassed but I understand and like to give a space to share grief too often is brushed under the rug and diminished. The stories of love shared in those moments are a testament to the ones they've lost. One customer was getting a canvas print and needed it rushed because they wanted paw prints added to the canvas before their son's dog was euthanized. We got it done that day and I thought this was a great idea.
This is so helpful. I wish I had seen this two months ago. My 15yr old pug was diagnosed with cancer. We had no idea how to manage. Unfortunately he died a painful/tragic death due to an accident, not his illness. I would do anything to go back and help him die with dignity. Thank you for sharing your experience
Thank you for sharing your experience--both the emotional and practical aspects of it. I've been lucky to not have gone through this process as an adult (yet) and I dread the day it comes for our two dogs, but I know it will, and this info will really help. You might want to check out Good Grief by E.B. Bartels, which is a book all about pet loss and grief. It sounds like it will be sad (and it is, in parts) but it's really a fascinating and thoughtful and sweet look at pets and ritual throughout history.
Dani, thank you for sharing your and Walter’s story. Having been through this experience a few times now, I think what you’ve shared here is some of the best advice around and is so helpful. Sending you big hugs from across the bridge and you’re happy to dog sit Rhaegar anytime 😘
I am so sorry for your loss. Walter was a lucky dog to have you as an owner.
I had to euthanize my 18 year old cat who I had since she was born. She was born on my grandparents farm to a stray cat and I wanted to give her a life away from the farm.
She had been sick for a couple of years and I knew she no longer had any quality of life. I too planned her euthanasia and and I struggled with questioning myself. Am I bad person for not letting her go naturally? Am I bad person for not letting her go sooner? Was she suffering? I was questioning everything. My biggest struggle was I selfishly didn’t want to let her go because she was all I had left of my grandparents who had since passed away.
My long term vet helped me get to a place where I could believe letting her go was the best gift I could give her and no one would think I was a terrible person for taking her life.
The week before her euthanasia I was able to be with her and take that extra time to show her how much I loved her. I hope she could feel how much she was loved.
The one thing that helped me was the morning of her euthanasia I too cleaned up all of her things before we went to the vet. It would have been too painful to come home to her stuff. I can’t stress how much that helped me.
The other thing I needed was space alone that day. I didn’t want to talk about it and I needed time to process the day and my initial grief by myself.
Thank you for sharing Walter’s story with us.
Julie
Dani, I never know what to say but you’ve written a piece that many people are probably very grateful for, whether they are reflecting and connecting to those shared grievances or anticipating and need support or guidance. Thank you for your vulnerability and sharing your world and love for Walter with us. We loved him so much and got to witness such a beautiful life that you and Josh gave him and the joy/love he gave to you both in return. Thank you for this post. My dogs are 9 and 8 and I have anticipatory grieve every so often. Knowing your experience and how much you loved Walter is the perspective I’ve needed for when our time comes to with our pups. My favorite time of day is our 1.5-2 hour walks. We always walk without headphones, submersed in the present with them in nature - that feeling is pure bliss. Really relishing in those moments everyday as I know they’re finite. Thanks again for sharing yours and Walter love (and life) story 🫶🏼
This was the first post I read from your newsletter that I recently subscribed to, and I can't thank you enough. My dog Rufus is on his final weeks and this was exactly what I needed to read right now. 💗
Dani, so lovely. It brings up so many tough and beautiful memories of our pets who passed: Ariadne, Maxine, Raja, Chloe, and Rory. It is never, ever easy. But they will always live on in our hearts. Thank you.