As women, motherhood can become the top consumer of our time and energy. It can feel like you signed up for an 18-year long marathon and time is flying by.
But as children grow and develop, parents also transition through distinct phases with varying demands on their time, energy, and mental bandwidth.
Being able to prepare for each of these stages is key for flourishing instead of floundering. This month’s guest, Jennifer Chaney, is a Midlife Mentor to Moms, and has a great framework that can help you navigate motherhood:
THE THREE PHASES OF MOTHERHOOD
👶🏻Full-time Mom: Your kids are age 12 or below, are dependent on you, and are highly demanding of your time and mental bandwidth. You have limited control over your time.
🧑🏻Part-time Mom: Your kids are age 12-18, are becoming more independent, and are sporadically demanding of your time and mental bandwidth. You are starting to regain control over chunks of your time.
🤝🏻On-call Mom: Your kids are 18+, they are mostly independent, and their needs vary. Your time is starting to feel like “yours” again.
In the episode we’ll discuss:
What these three phases can look and feel like
Exercises you can do to prepare for the next stage before you find yourself in the trenches of it
How friendships change and evolve throughout motherhood
Perimenopause and menopause and how that is another area women need to start planning for in order to flourish in midlife
Connect with Jennifer:
Jennifer runs a group program called The Path & Purpose Plan that helps moms begin to prepare for an empty nest (and the on-call mom stage!). Her next session will begin in the fall. Join the waitlist here.
Website: JenniferChaney.com
Instagram: @JenniferChaney
Additional Resources:
In the episode, Jennifer describes this exercise to help prioritize yourself through the three phases of motherhood.
1️⃣ Step one: Before you become a mom or when you are in the “Full-Time Mom Stage (or as soon as you read this!) create a list of 25 things that interest you. These could be physical activities, topics you want to learn about, skills you want to develop, etc. Try to stick to things your feel deeply connected to and interested in, versus trendy hobbies.
When you’re in the trenches of early motherhood, refer to this list in those small pockets of time that you have for yourself. What small thing can you do today to connect you with those interests (Ex. If you have a sincere interest in classical music, can you listen to a podcast about it while doing other tasks?).
2️⃣ Step two: When your kid(s) start to reach an age where those pockets of time for yourself are getting bigger, identify two values or beliefs that are important to you. These should be things you feel really fired up and passionate about (aka “hills you would die on”).
When you get those bigger pockets of time, focus on how some of those interests you were squeezing in can now connect and intersect with your values (Ex. If you’re passionate about volunteering in your local community, could you fundraise for music programs?).
3️⃣ Step three: As your kid(s) reach maturity and you are getting most of your time back, start exploring those areas where your interests and values overlap the most.
Use those overlapping areas to find fulfillment outside of motherhood as you enter midlife, instead of just filling time.
Jennifer’s suggestions:
📚 READ: For some entertaining and relaxing reading, Jennifer enjoys books from Canadian mystery writer Louise Penny. You can browse her titles here.
📺 WATCH: Jennifer recently fell for the Apple TV series, Slow Horses. A quick-witted drama about a dysfunctional team of M15 agents.
🎧 LISTEN: Helping other women understand and navigate menopause is another passion of Jennifer’s. She loves content from Dr. Stacy Sims and recommends her book Next Level.
🧡 ENJOY: Here’s something I had never heard of before: Rucking! Modeled after military ruck marches, it simply means walking while carrying weight (like these weighted backpacks Jennifer recommends from GoRuck). Rucking is a great way to elevate something most of us do everyday, while getting added benefits for our bones, muscles, and cardio! Here’s an article about rucking from CNN, “Rucking is an Easy Way to Fitness”.
Pssst! Want my help with digital organization? My next group program will open soon! We’ll set up the Core Four Systems and establish routines for optimizing our digital workflows and routines. Join the launch list to learn more about it + stay in the loop.
#044: The Three Phases of Motherhood with Jennifer Chaney 👨👧👧